I was about 11/12 when I began to notice girls in a way that I did not, at that time, understand what those feelings were. I remember writing three girl friends notes to tell them that I thought they were beautiful, but thought nothing of it. I never signed my name to those notes, but I also never thought those notes would be shared with other classmates. Another girl in our class that was a mutual friend, came to me as she recognized my handwriting. From that point forward, they decided they could no longer be my friend. I never understood why until it was that I understood who I was.
I didn’t say anything to anyone until I was 20/21 years old. During my late teens I had come to realize that one of my uncles was gay, and had died of AIDS during the 90’s. My family never discussed this with me. The only way that I knew about him, was because there was a book written about him called ‘Fighting Back: What Some People Are Doing About AIDS.’ I have lost count as to how many times I have read this book, but it is what saved me. I watched movies like ‘Foxfire,’ ‘Gia’, and ‘And The Band Played On,’ and the more I saw how people of the same sex loved one another, the more I knew I was beginning to find myself.
I grew up as a Catholic and was afraid to tell my family that I was a lesbian. When I finally did, I was met with support. Fast forward to April 2019 and I’ve come out a second time. This time as non-binary. Again, I was met with love and support. My immediate family is having a harder time with using my pronouns They/Them, and coming to terms with my wanting top surgery. Overall, this past year I’ve seen a lot of growth in myself, and it has taken me nearly 20 years to finally be proud of the person I’m becoming. Meditation and yoga have helped me mentally and emotionally, and my growth as a human is boundless!
