It wasn’t until I was 30 years old that I was able to have the courage, and the strength to truly be my authentic self. ️
After having a marriage with a man, after having a child with a man… I came out as a Lesbian.
30 years of hiding myself. 30 years of lying to myself. 30 years of lacking representation, visibility and just overall knowledge about our community.
The problem is just that though… the lack of visibility and representation!! I didn’t know that life… I didn’t understand that life! So I hid from it… for a LONG TIME!!
When I finally did come out I heard statements like “oh you’re choosing to be gay” and “this is just a phase” because of my previous relationships with men!
Even from our own community you still get questioned on whether you are Bi, or that you still might possibly be in a “confused” state. But the thing is… I’m not, and most people that come out later in life aren’t either! It just took us a while to get out of the heteronormative societal ways that were so engrained within us!
For years I felt like the straight path it was the easier pathway to take! But what’s crazy is… it wasn’t! It lead me down some very dark places in my life, and then finally, 6 years ago, I decided I had enough! I was going to start living my truth!
All this to say, no matter what you’ve done, who you’ve been with, what you’ve said, or how you’ve acted in the past can dictate or define who you truly are as a person.
No, I did not CHOOSE to be gay! I CHOSE to come out! I CHOSE to be visible, and I CHOSE to be unapologetically ME!!!
So to anyone out there who is or has struggled with being your true self later in life… I see you! You, and your feelings are SO VALID!! If you ever need to talk, my DMs are always open!
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Best,
Cara Cochran
