It’s so much harder to hide

It’s so much harder to hide

To tell the absolute truth – I didn’t want to be gay. I didn’t want to have to come out, deal with my very conservative family, to be THAT cousin. I wanted to be the “normal” person that this world has taught me to be. That didn’t happen. I would catch myself sneaking glances at attractive women. I didn’t know if I wanted to be them or their boyfriends.

I felt like I was missing a huge piece of the puzzle in my own life. Boyfriend after boyfriend, failed relationships, and me trying everything I could to be interested in guys, nothing was working.

In seventh grade, I came out as bisexual to myself. I didn’t tell a single soul until three years later. Four years after I came out to my close friends and some cousins, I met my girlfriend. I knew I wanted to be her girlfriend from the minute we met. There was just something about her that I never saw in my past relationships. I felt connected to her and I felt confident in the relationship. We have been dating for over six months now. I still get the same butterflies I had the very first time I saw her smile.

We have had major bumps in the road, including coming out to my family, but I am still so happy to be dating the girl I have been dreaming of. I lost family and friends because I am dating her, but if they were true friends they would have accepted me for who I am. I have never been happier. It is so much harder to hide when happiness only takes one person’s acceptance – your own.

Story submitted by Jovona

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